rape culture means that if I don’t trust strange men, I’m a bitch, they’re not going to hurt me, stop being paranoid.
it also means if i’m attacked by strangers I should have been more careful, why was I out after dark, don’t I know what happens to girls on their own?
it’s when men tell me to smile sweetheart, look pretty, I’m here for public consumption.
and my tight jeans may be grounds for letting a rapist walk away free.
THIS…just, so much TRUTH in one place.
There are people that get hurt so bad they spend their existences’ on this earth hurting others and dragging them down with them into their self made pits of fear and uncertainty. I don’t blame these people because not everyone is equipped with what it takes to grieve, forgive, learn, and finally release all the negativity they have been subjected to by not only another, but by themselves. People get hurt and if they get hurt enough they either morph into an abysmal soul of pity, resentment, and vengeance or they harden into a cold and uncaring spirit, home to a heart scarred one too many times.
There are a few incredible souls that manage to care and love so hard they tear past the hate, the fear, pity, and the damaged pride and find a better person. These are the people that risk and fall and break and somehow manage to find a strength within to see beyond stung feelings and battered pride/ego to find the happiness only brought about by forgiving others for their shortcomings that hinder them. They even have the capability to make others, sometimes, see the good they have within themselves and help establish the beginning to their own journey to become a better person.
People this and people that and blah, blah, blah. I write only of what I know and I am lucky enough to have a lifetime friend that is one of those very selfless and caring individuals I have mentioned. She showed me that I am always safe to say exactly what I feel and never worry that I would be judged because she never placed conditions on the love she had for me. There was no disagreement, fight, debate, or insult harsh enough to keep her from loving me and taking care of me because she saw past it ALL right to the core to see the undiluted essence of the person I was underneath the walls of scars and obstacles set to prevent anymore pain to come to me. She held on to me in the darkest of night, so hard, when I was blindly flailing about to find the light and she alone kept me from falling off the edge way too many times than i could ever thank her for. She allowed me to ultimately cause HER pain and suffering so that I would finally realize that she wasn’t going anywhere.
This single powerhouse of a woman brought me to the place I never knew was even a reality. She brought me to a place of bliss and happiness, and most of all forgiveness (for the mistakes made by myself and others) that brought me peace to be exactly who I am. She has loved and cared for me so unwaveringly through all the unkind things and words I have said and done to her, and every effort I made to push her away and never once asked for a single thing in return.
She is the reason I know that forever exists and love is the guide to it; because she is the boulder that still stands after many attempt to push and pull it to other locations unsuccessfully and even after the years of weathering and the battering of the elements that can never truly alter the composition of it. The boulder may LOOK somewhat different, yet it will always be made up of the same foundation holding it in place after all this time.
She is the key piece to the foundation that is now in place, which allows me to love and care for her in return and be the home where she never has to be afraid to display the uncensored or undiluted version of herself. She is my home and, I hers until the end of existence and still after. She is forever my bestfriend and the best part of who I am.
Love ya tootz, don’t forget it